Just for FUN!


Scary monsters!

When we’re in our classroom

We hear howling and wailings

We’ve got used to it now

It’s monsters at the railings

They strain at the bars

They rattle the school gates

They try to sneak in

But the head teacher waits

To catch them and scold them

And send them away

They’ve all disappeared

When we come out to play

They just want to learn

But it’s a very strict rule

Monsters are …


So they can’t come to school

Cow outcomes!

In the field day and nightCow-on-moon

Friesian cows in black and white

A colour TV wouldn’t go amiss

Liven up their bovine bliss

Why stop there? They could get Freeview

Even satellite and cable too

Not forgetting the internet

A webcam link to the local vet

Or perhaps download GoogleEarth?

The global herd viewing fields in Perth

One day rockets sent to outer space

Could provide trans-galactic interface

Cows will moo across the Milky Way

Swapping tips on eating hay

Never mind jumping over the moon

Technology means that very soon

Cows might achieve inter-planetary flight …

… if only they’d upgrade from black and white.



There’s a place where you can go for a spot of lunch

Where flying goats live overhead in the trees

Pot bellied pigs knit on skateboards

And grasshoppers have wicker-work knees


Of course, you will think I am fibbing

But I was told by a holidaying trout

He plays centre-forward for Man United

And his honesty cannot be in doubt

I can’t wait to see the two-headed dinosaurs

And the jet propelled dodo that winks

Apparently, they still live in Surrey

Although in Kent, of course, they’re extinct

He told me of invisible turtles

Of librarians that glow in the dark

Sunflowers that shave underwater

And seven empty milk bottles that bark

I agree it all sounds rather silly

But it’s definitely nearly all true

The only bit I’m not sure about …

Do you think he really plays for Man U?


Boats and Canoes


Can you canoe

With a Gnu from Peru

Up the Danube in the spring?


No! But I can float a boat

In a coat zipped to the throat

Down the Grand Union Canal outside Tring!